Got it on Lock Down
I think I have finally realized the rules of the road here:
-If you want to change lanes, just do it- most likely the person behind you, although they are tale-gating severely, is already expecting you to do so.
-If the person in front of you takes more than one second to realize the light has changed to green, honk your horn as loud and long as possible, even after they have already accelerated to the speed limit.
-If there are three lanes of cars at the light and you don't want to wait at the back of one of the lines, you can create a fourth lane by squeezing through two other lanes. If you can fit, there you go.
-You need not obey any road signs, street lights, or speed limits as there are no cops who drive along the roads and try to stop people. Only obey the light or signs when there is an army man with a huge machine gun waiting at the light, directing traffic. Ivoirians really know how to make people listen.
Also, for any of you planning to come to Cote d'Ivoire in the future, this is my survival guide thus far, it will help you a lot:
- If any creepy men try to talk to you while you are waiting for the Baca, pretend you don't speak French and just look at them confused. They will be angry their smooth words are working on you and walk away. Nice!
- Not knowing French also works well with street vendors and hagglers.
- If when you first arrive and have no idea what anyone is saying you simply smile and nod all the time, people will later associate that action with non-comprehension. So then later when you actually do know what they are saying and you smile and nod, they will try furiously to make the sentence in English until you inform them that you did in fact understand the first time.
- Practice eating a lot before you get here. When you are invited to someone's house and don't eat EVERYTHING they give you, they will be very offended.
- Wear whatever clothes people give you, no matter how much you look like you are wearing a tent. They love to see you in their gifts.
- Compliment everyone. It will transform you from "non-French speaking American" to "fluent French Goddess".
- If you tell someone to meet you at 15h, show up at 16h. I guarantee you will still be early.
It's actually really funny. Ivoirian culture is fast yet super slow. They eat fast, talk fast, and drive fast. But they walk, and work super slowly. For example my boss tells me to call some other NGOs and ask about some things, and write my report for the week. I finish that in about one hour, and then I have to sit and do nothing for 7 hours until I can go home. (Everyone who gchats me during the day, God bless you). Also, my Ivoirian mom wants to build a new house. We went to go see how it was coming along yesterday and it looked like it was about half finished being framed. I asked her when she started building it: 2006. Aie!!
I also finally have a daily routine. For the weekdays that is...the weekends are filled with whatever crazy stuff the AIESECers feel like doing.
Wake up at 6
To work by 9
Take a taxi to the station at 18h. Where I wait my Ivoirian my mom to take me home. While I wait I get to experience the joys of every person walking by saying "Hey white girl". I also get the joys of watching at least 2 fights night break out. I don't know what it is about the Total gas station but it just works people up into a rage.
When I get home I eat dinner- which is always something delicious, except when it's spaghetti. I don't know why but people here think all Americans love spaghetti and always ask me about it. I will never eat spaghetti again.
After that me and my brothers and Roxanne watch Dragon Ball Z and sing the words to the theme song-which is in English, so I laugh every time I hear them sing it because they have no idea what they are saying. Then all during the show my brothers will jump up and yell "KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" And throw various objects at each other. One of them is usually naked too so there is a very obvious target for the other boys.
Then after that it's girlie time where Roxanne makes different hair styles in my hair, all involving pencils and glitter. Then I practice English with Sabine and laugh hysterically when she tries to pronounce "their". (I wouldn't normally laugh, but you should have seen the way she made fun of my accent when I first got here).
After all that it is usually 22h and I am beat. But Roxanne still wants to play so she usually does my hair again. But by this time her mom tells her she has to go to bed, and so she screams and cries for 15 minutes before getting shut in her room.
I'm going to Danane next Thursday. I will be there for a whole week and I am sort of nervous. In my NGO we always talk about HIV/AIDS to kids, but I've never actually seen people physically dying from it. I really hope I can be of some help when we go and not just the American observer in the background.
-If you want to change lanes, just do it- most likely the person behind you, although they are tale-gating severely, is already expecting you to do so.
-If the person in front of you takes more than one second to realize the light has changed to green, honk your horn as loud and long as possible, even after they have already accelerated to the speed limit.
-If there are three lanes of cars at the light and you don't want to wait at the back of one of the lines, you can create a fourth lane by squeezing through two other lanes. If you can fit, there you go.
-You need not obey any road signs, street lights, or speed limits as there are no cops who drive along the roads and try to stop people. Only obey the light or signs when there is an army man with a huge machine gun waiting at the light, directing traffic. Ivoirians really know how to make people listen.
Also, for any of you planning to come to Cote d'Ivoire in the future, this is my survival guide thus far, it will help you a lot:
- If any creepy men try to talk to you while you are waiting for the Baca, pretend you don't speak French and just look at them confused. They will be angry their smooth words are working on you and walk away. Nice!
- Not knowing French also works well with street vendors and hagglers.
- If when you first arrive and have no idea what anyone is saying you simply smile and nod all the time, people will later associate that action with non-comprehension. So then later when you actually do know what they are saying and you smile and nod, they will try furiously to make the sentence in English until you inform them that you did in fact understand the first time.
- Practice eating a lot before you get here. When you are invited to someone's house and don't eat EVERYTHING they give you, they will be very offended.
- Wear whatever clothes people give you, no matter how much you look like you are wearing a tent. They love to see you in their gifts.
- Compliment everyone. It will transform you from "non-French speaking American" to "fluent French Goddess".
- If you tell someone to meet you at 15h, show up at 16h. I guarantee you will still be early.
It's actually really funny. Ivoirian culture is fast yet super slow. They eat fast, talk fast, and drive fast. But they walk, and work super slowly. For example my boss tells me to call some other NGOs and ask about some things, and write my report for the week. I finish that in about one hour, and then I have to sit and do nothing for 7 hours until I can go home. (Everyone who gchats me during the day, God bless you). Also, my Ivoirian mom wants to build a new house. We went to go see how it was coming along yesterday and it looked like it was about half finished being framed. I asked her when she started building it: 2006. Aie!!
I also finally have a daily routine. For the weekdays that is...the weekends are filled with whatever crazy stuff the AIESECers feel like doing.
Wake up at 6
To work by 9
Take a taxi to the station at 18h. Where I wait my Ivoirian my mom to take me home. While I wait I get to experience the joys of every person walking by saying "Hey white girl". I also get the joys of watching at least 2 fights night break out. I don't know what it is about the Total gas station but it just works people up into a rage.
When I get home I eat dinner- which is always something delicious, except when it's spaghetti. I don't know why but people here think all Americans love spaghetti and always ask me about it. I will never eat spaghetti again.
After that me and my brothers and Roxanne watch Dragon Ball Z and sing the words to the theme song-which is in English, so I laugh every time I hear them sing it because they have no idea what they are saying. Then all during the show my brothers will jump up and yell "KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" And throw various objects at each other. One of them is usually naked too so there is a very obvious target for the other boys.
Then after that it's girlie time where Roxanne makes different hair styles in my hair, all involving pencils and glitter. Then I practice English with Sabine and laugh hysterically when she tries to pronounce "their". (I wouldn't normally laugh, but you should have seen the way she made fun of my accent when I first got here).
After all that it is usually 22h and I am beat. But Roxanne still wants to play so she usually does my hair again. But by this time her mom tells her she has to go to bed, and so she screams and cries for 15 minutes before getting shut in her room.
I'm going to Danane next Thursday. I will be there for a whole week and I am sort of nervous. In my NGO we always talk about HIV/AIDS to kids, but I've never actually seen people physically dying from it. I really hope I can be of some help when we go and not just the American observer in the background.
posted by Meena Zia @ 1:21 AM
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